Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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