so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize