I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
