i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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