Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
