she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
