Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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