1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
