I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize