Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
