He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
