Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
