FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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