Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize