i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You dont lie about slip and slides
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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