So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
