And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Welp...herpes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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