In the future we'll all be gay
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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