Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
