She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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