You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
