we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
