they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
