I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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