I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
