You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
50% drunk capacity currently
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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