Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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