I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
