She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
