On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
