What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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