Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
