you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
