Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
