I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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