So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
