he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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