Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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