i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
