youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
