I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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