My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize