No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
