so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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