I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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