the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
