i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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