I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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