Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
