What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
