I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize