guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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