we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
FUCK WHALES
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
