lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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