I puked a lego.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
