the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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