the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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