My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I cut my penus on the lid.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
