Got a toothbrush?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
