it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
