i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
