Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
