I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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