After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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