Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
soo... how was my night?
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