I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize