what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
