I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
