you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
