Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
